We started our potty training journey a few months back right before Jack turned 2. We were first timers so after reading several pinterest posts, which obviously made me an expert, I felt like Jack and I were ready.
I took Friday off from work and armed myself with many different techniques that I found all over the internet but mostly on fun mommy blogs like this one with happy smiley kids pooping on the potty. Those seemed the most trust worthy. The kids were happy right?
Wrong.
Those pictures were lies.
Technique #1 :
My first technique was leaving Jack naked. I got him undressed and let him roam free. I obviously kept him in the family room and kitchen area as those have hardwood and I could keep an eye on him. He wasn't tall enough to climb on the sofa so no extra precautions were needed there. Thank god.
Expect I was wrong.
After being naked for only a few minutes he discovered how to scale the sofa and he peed on it...
twice.
So I dug out some old towels and layered them all over the sofa.
I thought if he could see the messy floor and feel his legs getting wet that would trigger some sort of response. Well it didn't he ran through puddles of pee with no care in the world. He didn't care that his feet or toys or anything else was dripping with his own pee. I didn't want to discourage him so I said nothing but I was secretly screaming and crying on the inside.
I tried to take him to the potty every 30min or so but he refused. He knew what the word potty meant and watching tv or playing with cars was way more exciting. I tried books, my phone, and a tablet, nothing was better than his cars in the other room.
Technique #2 :
My second attempt was moving the potty to the family room right in front of the tv. Who wouldn't want their porcelain throne, or plastic in this case, smack in the middle of the room with a giant tv playing their favorite channel. I know I was jealous.
Well this sorta worked. He would sit on it for a few seconds and then run around peeing wherever and whenever he wanted.
Technique #3 :
My next thought was bribery. I was prepared with his favorite snack, gold fish. The only problem was that some time in the moments leading up to this he decided he no longer liked gold fish. He screamed and threw them at me and ran off naked and probably peed somewhere.
I didn't have anything else in the house except M&Ms. So I put a small bowl by the potty and said if he sat on it he could eat one. Well this worked.
A little too well.
Smart ass.
He sat on the potty and ate an M&M. He immediately stood up and sat back down and ate another. He was a little gopher up and down until the entire bowl was empty and his hands were covered in melted chocolate rainbow chunks.
Technique #4 :
I called my mother.
At 27 I can safely say I am fully potty trained and I feel pretty confident about my siblings too. She is obviously an expert.
She told me to stop the M&M train and only dole them out for a success. This was logical but I was worried taking it away would result in him never sitting on the potty again. I was right. He refused to sit down when I refused his fix.
Try again mother.
She then suggested my next technique...
Technique #5 :
Undies.
A few days before this adventure we went to the store and I let him pick out big boy undies. He obviously picked the ones with Cars on them.
So I busted them out and laid them all on the coffee table and told him to pick one. My thought being that he wouldn't want to hurt and drown and poop on Mater or Lightning. He picked his favorite pair and we put them on.
I repeatedly told him "don't peepee or poop on Lightning. Lightning doesn't like peepee or poop. It will hurt him". Roughly 15 minutes later we had run through all 8 pairs. Lightning and Mater didn't stand a chance.
Technique #6 :
This was my last try. I was beyond frustrated and Jack could tell.
He was winning and he did a little peepee dance to prove it.
So I combined the last two days into one massive "DO IT ALL" day.
I got him up that last fateful morning and got him undressed. I set up a jar of sweet cereal (golden crisp in our case) next to the potty in the family room right in front of the tv. I laid out some underwear and put Cars and Cars 2 on repeat. I told him he could eat as much cereal as he wanted if he sat on the potty and he only got M&Ms if he actually went potty.
He was mad but once those sweet sugary morsels touched his lips he stopped whining. He sat on that potty eating cereal watching Cars and Cars 2 all the way through and he never peed. For 3ish hours this kid didn't produce a drop!
I gave up.
I kept him naked but I let him roam the house. I resigned myself to cleaning up after him all day. But no. He drank sippy cup after sippy cup of water and nothing!
He didn't pee hardly at all! Only a few drips here and there.
Later that night after Max got home I was beat. I was physically and emotional exhausted. The house was a disaster, dishes were piling up and Jack was giggling naked somewhere.
He continued to sit on the potty for cereal but no success.
Until...
During viewing #467 of Cars the potty started to sing. It was congratulating him on going potty and cheering. I ran over and Jack just sat there blank faced with a handful of cereal.
Max and I started jumping up and down like morons. We were so unprepared for this moment. I scrambled to find the M&Ms. Jack just sat there utterly confused on what was happening around him. I finally grabbed and M&M and handed it to him as we screamed, cheered, and clapped. I stood him up and brought him into the bathroom to watch the ceremonial flush. But as he stood up I looked in the potty and there were seriously like 4 drops. It was just enough to set off the potty's censors. He had no idea he had even gone.
But we made a big deal anyway.
But that's where our first try at potty training ended. I had to go back to work. Our "Potty Train in 3 Day's" pinterest weekend was over. Jack just wasn't ready. He didn't recognize the sensation of having to go or even the sensation of actually going. He didn't care that he was wet or that the floor was wet.
Everything online says don't look back, persevere, never put a diaper back on again. But those mothers mostly stay-at-home, which is great, but I couldn't take a naked non-potty trained toddler back to daycare on Monday and expect them to continue what we started. Life just doesn't work that way.
So we moved from diapers to pull-ups in hopes of making some baby steps. We have waited and bided our time and we
just recently started trying again in small easily consumed chunks instead of full blown exhausting weekends. I hope to fill you in on attempt #2 soon!
